There’s a great poem named ‘Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters’ by Portia Nelson. Everyone should have this available to them any time they find themselves making the same mistakes or doing the same thing over and over. It speaks to how some days we get totally sucked into our own story and self-sabotage. And others, we don’t. It’s about when we become stuck in a hole.
So what to do about this?
When I’m really stuck in a story, there are five actions that I take. The first, is that I observe and write down what the feeling is.
Next, I feel ... I discover what my primary emotion is - am I scared, anxious? Feel into the primary emotion.
Step three, I believe. This is the most important step as I believe this is where the story lies.
Our tendency here is to not admit the true insidious beliefs that are rolling around in us. Here is where you lay out the worst, lowest vibrational and judgemental thing you have about a person, situation or yourself.
Step four is becoming clear on what you desire. Allow this to come from your heart and don’t just write down one desire, write down all of them. These desires are usually the opposite of the story that you’ve been telling yourself.
Once you reach step five, it’s time to take a deep breath. Invite as much enlightened wisdom and consciousness in as possible. Here, you want to imagine the best version of you and ask her, ‘what do I already know?’.
This knowing should be a deep but peaceful statement. It’s like when someone says ‘do you love your children?’. You know the truthful answer to this question and the truth feels peaceful.
Once you’ve gained this sense of peace, the last step is to ask yourself, ‘what is one action I can take right now, based on what I know’?
Trust yourself, back yourself and once you’ve worked through the story you’re telling yourself, take calculated action.