Make your yeses and nos count

Make your commitments and your boundaries count. Especially during the holidays, I find that the amount of invitations I receive increase. There’s so many opportunities to exchange gifts, meet for dinner, and attend a party.

These are often beautiful opportunities but I end up over-committing and saying yes to things that deplete me. If you want to survive the silly season, make your commitments and your boundaries count. The best way to know whether you should say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to an invitation is to analyse whether you contract or expand.  

That’s what works for me. Every time someone gives me an invitation, I check in. I see what else I have on for the week and how it would feel to add something else to my schedule. If the thought of committing to something else makes me contract, I say no. Sometimes, I just need a night in, otherwise I feel depleted. 

Or, maybe you’ve got nothing on your calendar because you’ve been really great at clearing your schedule. Then, if someone invites you to something exciting and you find yourself expanding, consider this a yes. If you feel like it’ll be a great time, with great people and won’t require much of you, then go! That’s the feeling of expansion.

What you say yes and no to, it counts. Firm up on your commitments and boundaries and check what’s making you feel constricted, and what interactions lead to expansion?

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